Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Ex Girlfriend had a baby and getting back into drugs... I still care..advice?

I was dating a girl who got pregnant while we were dating. She cheated on me but i accepted the actions and we were dating again. The child came and i was there to help her raise it for the first 10 months. Trust has been hard with her but was getting better. She was heavy into drugs b4 and i got her away from it. none of her guy friends would come over when i was there, only when i wasnt. told her i dont like that and not to do it. 8 months go by and all asudden she needs her drug buddies back around and she starts having one come over. i break up and leave her. told her us just being friends is best. i recently watched the child and found a pipe and weed in her bedroom. asked her and she said shes not doing it. she lied and i caught it. we have not talked for 2 weeks now. should i continue not to talk to her and wait for her to contact me or ? i'm attached to the child and its hard. It clear to see she picked weed n them over all i've done and been there for. need advice. thanks

Ex Girlfriend had a baby and getting back into drugs... I still care..advice?
she is strung out and not on you I hate to say it but by now you are probably just an inconvenience that's holds her up from gettin high. you clearly seem like a genuinely nice guy but till she is ready to quite or till she gets busted she won't change the best you can do is just try to be a good friend so she still has a sense of normalcy so she can't get full bore strung out as long as she always has to wonder if you are coming by she will have that in the back of her mind and will be somewhat discrete in her actions when you do go by there clean house toss out all the losers and check the house for any dangerous situations that the baby may get in. paraphernalia that the baby can get throw away. just be a good friend
Reply:get the kid away from the mom befor it gets too out of hand
Reply:you're a kind fellow...

if you care for her kid, are you willing to be this kid's dad?

if you do, then ask her to give you a custody rights for that kid.

but if you care for the both of them, marry her and put her in rehab.

or you can just call the social service and walk out with out getting your hand messy
Reply:ok, the whole situation is not even about you and her anymore. it's about the baby. you need to call CPS and turn her in. this is by no means an acceptable environment for a child to be raised in. after that, leave her alone. the girls has made her choices and obviously refuses to grow up. you cannot make her change. and if you were sleeping with her, go get yourself tested because she's trading herself for drugs. that's why she won't let any of her "friends" come around when you are there.
Reply:well the child-its bad for the child- if the child starts smelling the drugs and stuff it could lead to death especially so young the body cant control it. u might wanna take her 2 a doctor or something and help her get away from it.
Reply:aawww... you sound a real caring guy. I know you care about the her and the kid but it seems like she doesn't deserve you. You deserve someone better who will take care of you the same way. It seems like she needs to go to a rehab even though her drug use is not bad as you think... but the fack she chose her druggy friends over you that says a lot. I feel sorry for the kid.... you need to take the kid outta there... if she really knows what she is doing then she should know better not to have any weed or pipe laying around the house.

I hope the kid will be ok and you as well.
Reply:Just let her go for now and wait for her to call or text you. Really you should just move on with your life and find someone who's going to be good to you and treat you with some respect. You sound like a nice guy who really know how to care about a person and that is a rare trait these day. So find someone to love you back she'll need you one day and if you're not there because you have you're own life then she'll realize just how dumb she was.
Reply:You have done more than can be expected. You should be respected for everything you have done . What is the most concerning is the conditions the child has to endure. She has to realize it's not just about her anymore , but it is about the baby. She has to seek help if she truly loves her child, if not then you might want to look for different avenues. It may sound harsh , but if it gets bad enough you may want to contact social services. I would contact her parents or anyone who has positive influence over her to help her find the right path. There are alot of services out there. Just don't give up on her. Remember it's all about the baby. Life is one big cycle - don't let the little one continue the cycle.
Reply:you need to get the baby out of the house A.S.A.P!! and tell her that she needs to get help. are you on the babys birth certificate?? if so you a right to take the child out of the home if not than call her parents and tell them whats going on and to take the custody

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