Is there ever a good time to tell ur husband ur thinking of seperating?

Scenario: Married for 4 yrs and have one child but not his.


Come to an conclusion that he is mentally and physically dependent on weed, Its gotten more mental since he's been diagonsed with diabeties and had 2 toes amputated. Were working with the diabeties but the co - dependency has increased, Even though we decided to take a very low dosage of anti - depressant. Thats one of my concerns and then the other one being the possibiltiy that he doesnt want to have his own children even though it was very clear that thats the large reason that i got married. I feel that im being put off and for a women you only have so much time!! catch my drift. Ive always expressed my concerns in both areas but dont know if its made a dent. So thinking about leaving, hopefully to reunite seems to be the only thing i can think of to get my point across. My belief in marriage and feelings towards him are unquestionable but im feelin like im at my wits end needing input. and yes , i pray!!

Is there ever a good time to tell ur husband ur thinking of seperating?
The best time to tell him that when u feel deep inside that u cannot ever stay with him any more, If u have little bit feeling that there's chance for both of u then don't say it, but the moment u feel that enough is enough then don't hesitate and say it directly
Reply:Leave if you are not happy and he is not living his life right. If he is not living right then you guys will never be happy.
Reply:Just tell him honestly... I love and care for you but... I don't feel that you love me the way I need to be... so, i'm leaving you and hope that someday you will find what makes you happy as well...
Reply:There is never going to be a good time for him, but u need to do it as soon as possible otherwise ur child will pick up on your unhappness and to be unhappy themselves. Explain that your going coz u need some time alone and tell him that in the time ur gone that u want him to sorthimself out, maybe put the child tobed one night and tell him ur going or if u carnt doit face to face write him a long letter coz men tend to take it in when its written down coz they dont feel that ur naging at them rather then when u talk face to face. good luck hun
Reply:no there isn't a good time!


and it's said that you only married to have a child!


Marrage is about love from what i understand if you truely love someone you will drain yourself completely to help your other half!


why are you giving up is it because he don't want kids?


is it because he smokes weed?


is it because he is deformed with 2 less toes?





Yes it is hard as heck to do this! but if the tables were turned would you want your partner to stick with you or leave you like dust because of a few minor things!





Go with him and get help! Keep praying if that's what you do!





continue to communicate! express in a good way how you feel... don't say weed is bad for you why are you smoking it!


say something like I really feel uneasy around the smell of pot it makes me want to throuw up.


if you direct it so it's on you instead of pointing out his flaws it may help..


say something like this contact buzz is making me depressed.. instead of saying your smoking yourself into a deeper depression.. or why don't you cut back!


when you put those depands it makes one rebell.. so state it in a way if someone cares for you they will start thinking about it!





another eg: let say your partner has a problem with messy ness and you ask for him to pick up the mags. on the coffee table


what not to say.. - I asked you to pick up the mags it's still not done why not. ( he may take that as you being a control freak)


say it like this - I would like to share my feelings with you. I have a hard time focusing and clearing my mind when things are not in its' place. I feel bothered by this. I can tell it don't bother you but is there anything you can do to help me.





They may not jump up and do it right then but if they care for you they will think and it will haunt them and then suprize mags are off the table!





I have a learning dispility and this is how things work with me!


I have a skewed version of persception your intent isn't to be mean but chances are i'll take it that way so watch your wording.


Don't give up


don't give up


please stand up take the challenge marrage is far from easy


step it up


Love him even more!


DON:T GIVE UP!


please don't give up


help him help you to help him


but don't give up!


i'm here for you to vent! you can talk my ear off! and yell at me and lash it all out!


just don't give up!
Reply:Are you thinking of it or have you decided? It's important to be clear on this.





Set the scene. It should be in private and in a place where he can react safely--for you both. Make sure that there is room for him to react physically without hurting anyone or breaking anything irreplacable if that's in his range of reacting to bad news.





If you've decided on a separation it might be wise to have enough of your things where ever you are moving to that you can leave at any time.
Reply:Never a good time but just do it..especially if the child is not yours... You need to get out of there...you don't want to loose your child...Child comes first.
Reply:Honey, there's never a "good" time to tell him. BUT, I think you need to go your own way. I'm not a big advocate for divorce, but sometimes it IS the right thing to do. You have to think of your child, it's not a good thing to have your child around someone who's addicted. Sad, but true. You also have to think of yourself, don't you deserve some peace in your life? Maybe even there's a part of you that thinks you can "fix" him, been there done that honey. We cannot fix anyone, trust me. Also, think about it this way..would you want to have a child with someone who IS an addict?





Honey, I wish you the VERY best of luck. I've dealt with a little of what you're going through. My EX husband was abusive, I left him years ago. My son IS a recovering drug addict (praise God)...my heart goes out to you. Keep praying %26amp; ask God for the strength that you need. I will say a prayer for you.





Take care of YOU, Lynn
Reply:ever think of counseling ? hes going through a lot with health issues and he may be afraid to have kids due to the diabetes being hereditary. ya'll need a professional to help ya understand all your stuff
Reply:you sound very fair. i think you'll just have to say it one day, there isn't a best time. but when you do get round to saying all that you feel, i think that it's important to say absolutely everything and not to be coy.





i know a friend (who has smoked weed for 40 yrs) and his wife left him. they still get on but not under the same roof. :D
Reply:There'd be no way I'd allow my child around a druggie and I don't care if it's just weed.
Reply:The sooner the better..
Reply:There is never really a good time for such a conversation, but it has to be done.





You need to think about your child and your future with that child.





Do you really want to have a child with this man, he is diabetic, which means he also has other health problems.





The worst part is he is a drug addict. It does not matter what drug, it is still a drug no matter if some people think that weed is not a big problem.





You are dealing with a man who has physical and medical problems as well as an additive personality. He is not good father material.





Please keep praying but realize that you have to make strong decisions for yourself and your child. He may be able to deal with the addiction in a positive manner, but until then you should not be involved, and should not be involving your child.





I wish you the best.
Reply:Don't think there is a good time...depending on his temper and mood, I'd tell him at home after the little one is asleep. Don't spring it on him, especially if there is already tension in the home. Casually bring up how unhappy you are, blah, blah, blah and tell him this is an option. If he is already mad, have your bags already in the car, the baby sleep at grandma's or a close friend and tell him from the yard, hopefully he will still be standing in the door and you'll have time to run to the car and peel out. Ok...this is a little dramatically but you never can tell in this situation! God luck!
Reply:yes...when your child is asleep and everything is calm
Reply:It's best to do this BEFORE you have had so much crap, and things are so out of hand, you can't stand to be around him.


Maybe threapy will help, but I have not seen that too much.


Try to do what's best for you...now.
Reply:pack your bags first... then leave.. then... call him and tell him you left.
Reply:Just before you pull the trigger......
Reply:breaking up with somone is always hard, especially when you care about the person and dont want to hurt them...but better to break it off sooner than later, if you want out you need to tell him now regardless of how you think he will react. i was afraid to leave my husband, he went crazy...but once you get past that part of it you will feel much better
Reply:just don't do it like my ex did.... on the way to a friend's wedding.
Reply:There is never a good time to plan this type of conversation. When it is time, it is time. And you will know it.
Reply:WOW! You are in quite a pickle, however, this is the "for better or worse" part of marriage. It isn't easy for you or your child, that I understand, however, you have got to be the rock and the ocean right now. That means, you must be the foundation of your family and the one who ebbs and flows based on his mood. You obviously love your husband and that is important, but you need to have a true heart to heart and if that doesn't do it, get counseling. You need to exhaust every effort to stave off seperation before the actually leaving. This is important, because your child needs to see the dedication involved in trying to be an honorable spouse. I wish you and yours every blessing and good fortune.
Reply:get him off the anti-depressant....and the weed.....get on a healthy diet..seek counseling.....set goals in your marriage and commit to completing them...keep it simple...if he refuses then perhaps a trial seperation....you and him must want the same things for a healthier relationship..good luck
Reply:Before you leave you need to tell him how you feel. Let him know that if he is not going to work toward the marriage with you then you are going. It might just take a swift kick to make him realize that he is about to lose everything, on the other hand it may not matter. But either way at least you can say that you tried to save things before you left.
Reply:if the main reason you got married was to have children and he refuses, you need to leave! so, talk to him and tell him that if he doesn't improve his ways, you're out of there.

Teeth Pain