How can I heal from being battered by my ex-BF? I'm having a really hard time.?

My ex-BF of 3 years abused me for the last two. He began with verbal and emotional abuse (calling me a stupid ***** and other horrible names) Then the physical abuse started. We would get into fistfights, because I fought him back tooth and nail. (How could I be stupid when he was sitting on his butt, watching TV, smoking weed, and popping lots of pills?) Let me be clear: I know that I chose this man and chose the consequences, but I didn't know he was such a pill junkie until we lived together. That was what probably contrubuted to the his violence and anger. I finally told him that I didn't want to live with him anymore. I just couldn't see myself going to school, working, taking care of the house AND babysitting him. Our relationship ended with me bruised and a bitten ear, and him with cuts on his head from me beating the **** out of him with a ceramic soap dish. Now that I've thrown him out, pressed charges, and all that, I am ashamed that I could let this happen to me for so long.

How can I heal from being battered by my ex-BF? I'm having a really hard time.?
talk to someone, maybe a professional--- good luck with everything--- i am glad you are out of that relationship
Reply:this is what living with an addict is all about. Confusion, drama, violence, lopsided responsibilty. Please consider going to nar Anon meetings for a bit to understand how complicated these relationships can be and the toll it takes on friends and family.





Of course, you didn;t know at first, they are expert manipulative liars. You are nOT to blame.
Reply:I am always on Answers giving smart *** comments and generally being a douche, but for some reason, this seemed to hit me a bit. Don't for one second blame yourself for this. It may have taken a bit longer than it should have, but you DID throw him out and are now trying to do better for yourself. For now, don't worry or think about other relationships until you come to grips with accepting yourself and your own worth. Look after yourself and life will take care of the rest. I wish you luck!
Reply:Having been through a similar situation about a year and a half ago the things that i found effective was talking to a family member that had no idea what was going on that didnt know the person and just started going to church dont be ashamed that you let it happen for you didnt know how it was going to turn out
Reply:They say love is blind, I am proud of you for fighting back and kicking his a** out when you did, at least you were not together for years and years like 10 or more. My aunt stayed with her's for 12 years and 3 kids later till he turned on the kids then she had-had enough and left but by that time she was so mentally, physically, and emotionally, beatten down, she let her babies go to her mom and sister.
Reply:You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to GET OUT of that abusive relationship. I also was in a abusive relationship. I didn't have the courage to leave or fight back. so for 16yrs. I was abused. After my daughter's death 7yrs, ago. I finally got the courage to go to a batter women's shelter.I have since grown as a person. I now speak to other women who are survivors of DV. I commend you for your honesty. But don't beat up on yourself! We all make mistake.........learning from them is the key. God bless you! May your future be filled with happiness.
Reply:Glad to know that you finally woke up!





Shake the dust from your feet and GO ON! Meaning, don't YOU LOOK BACK! It will do you absolutely NO GOOD to try to figure out what went wrong. It's over and that's that!





It's time to get back on track, with work , school and self! Give yourself a year from intimate relationships, so that you can accomplish some personal goals and truly heal emotionally!


Now look, I know your girls are going to want to rehash and to get you to tell all. IT WOULD BE LIKE RIPPING ONE OF YOUR CUTS BACK OPEN! When anyone tries to get you to talk about it, say no I don't want to remember what's dead to me. Sometimes certain things, people and events have to fade out of the memory.





Do you for right now, make a dent in your future. Hold your head high always, because YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!





MUCH LOVE!
Reply:Seek out the local Battered Women's Task Force in your area for counseling and therapy. You did the right thing by booting his @ss out, good job good for you! High five!!! Its d!ckheads like that give the rest of us guys a bad name.