Could you read my poem??/?

its about people and how they lack and/or have excess of emotions. the weeds represent those emotions.





Weeds





Weeds cloud your mind


They make you blind


You think you are confided


Take a look behind


I should not have to remind


Take a breath, unwind





It’s your greed


Do you know when to heed


Take a look, slow your speed


But continue to proceed


Don’t completely heed


You still have to lead


First clear your mind of weeds





Fear is a virtue


Guard it well


It will protect you from the swell


But don’t become a shell


Go ahead rebel


But don’t fall under the spell


Don’t fear the thought of the fear


Free yourself of the weeds





Pain is a necessity


Don’t look for infliction


Can’t become an addiction


Don’t search for friction


Make a prediction


Not a conviction


And it will empty our mind of weeds

Could you read my poem??/?
Wow! You Should Get That Published! I love the part were you talk about fear very very very moving!





Shawn C.
Reply:I like it
Reply:This is called "verse", not poetry -- I don't want to discourage you, but it is really atrocious - sorry
Reply:I read right through your poem


Then read a second time


the contents of your poem


and your corny use of rhyme'





I feel I've met my Nemesis


because I tell you mate


its cornier than some of mine


And mine's illiterate.





There is an art to rhyming.


an art that I confess


that despite really trying


My Rhyming is a mess.





And so now my dear colleague


I fear you must not dismiss


abandoning meaningful poetry


And like me take the piss.
Reply:Lame-o rhyming scheme.