Friday, May 21, 2010

How do i get along with a nasty spoiled ungrateful granddaughter?

She is rude, spoiled, smokes and does weed. I don't want her in my home but i also don't like lecturing her because she's rude. My daughter doesn't want her because they had a big fight and someone called the police. I agreed to have her for one week but I don't know how I can bear it. She's so manipulative and she's stolen from my house. I don't know how to put with her because being nice doesn't seem to change her. She curses whenever she doesn't get what she wants. I made it clear that I won't have any weeds or drugs in the house and she can smoke OUTSIDE if she wants. She won't listen to me and I am not about to get physical because i never hit any of my children. Also, she's sixteen.

How do i get along with a nasty spoiled ungrateful granddaughter?
Two choices:

Military School

Or you become the Drill Instructor at home. It will be difficult. Get her up at 0400 for a run. Don't hit her. Sleep depravation is far worse. Make her qtip your entire house. Make it so hard, it will be a punishment to be there. So, she'll think twice about coming.

If she is underage, by all means, military schools are all over the US.


Reply:she needs someone to wake her up to reality. I assume that she is from a divorced family since you never mentioned the father. The best thing you could do is to perhaps get her busted for the drugs and put somewhere that she can get some counseling. I think that you might try calling Protective Services and talk to someone there to see if they have any ideas but she does need some intervention or she is going to possibly have a very short, tragic life.
Reply:WOW shes 16? sounds like boot camp time, my sister isn't as bad but she was pretty much the same and eventually she got arrested and put in TYC Texas youth commission for a year. talking to her and yelling at her NEVER worked all she cared about was what her friends thought. but when she came back home she changed her ways! WHATEVER U DO DON'T GIVER HER WHAT SHE WANTS. if u kick her out she'll love that cause then she can go bum off her friends until their parents get tired of it too. Good Luck!
Reply:She'll get whats coming to her sooner or later

Reply:Take her back to her mother. Why should you put up with this stressful situation. You already paid your dues raising children. If you keep her by the end of the week there will be another big fight and YOUR neighbors will call the police . You are in danger. Make a huge dramatic thing out of this so she gets it! Hire a security guard if you need to to force her into the car and also protect you from whatever might happen. THis might sound drastic but you need to think preventatively
Reply:aww i feel like im that 16 year old..i guess i kind of act this same way to my parents and grandparents but they don't know i smoke..maybe if you talk to her not just tell "her stop smoking and being a brat" but like really talk to her about whats wrong. i know i have a lot of problems and wish i could have someone to talk to but theres no one for me which is one of the reasons why i smoke

i think im going to spend some time with my family tomorrow instead of my stoner friends =] this actually helped me a little cuz i feel like my grandma used to love me but now that i don't spend much time with her anymore cuz im getting high she doesnt

trust me your granddaughter loves you and cares about you but she doesn't show it. the last thing she wants is her grandmother to call her a spoiled ungrateful granddaughter


give her another chance
Reply:you should kick her out of the house and tell her to go to her friends house or take the drugs away from her.
Reply:Get rid of her. Some kids have to learn the hard way and she's one of them.

Tell her she's going to a home, and when she's ready to live by your rules you might consider having her back.

She didn't get to be that way all by herself. Where were her parents when she needed them to be role models?

At this stage, you either deal with her or you don't. Sounds like you are in for a whole whack of trouble either way.
Reply:Give her back. Shes not yours! Your getting walked all over!
Reply:my grandma would never have put up with that...and you're ridicuously silly for tolerating in.
Reply:Wow. That's a tough situation. But in my mind, it's not your problem. You need to call you daughter and have her pull that ungrateful girl out by the ears.

If that blows up, call the police.
Reply:Sorry but one word. BORDING SCHOOL. OR BOOTCAMP!
Reply:There is no need to hit her. I think you should allow her to see the real side of the world- set her up in a half way house or group home setting for a week( call a few agencies and see what they can do for a short time- my grandmother works at once and people do it all the time, but usually for 1-3 month periods where the kids can go home on the weekends) anyway I would give her some tough love and yell at her and tell her how lucky she is to have a family that even cares about her. I think you should assist her in finding a job to occupy some of her time outside of school. and she also needs some spirital guidance- I would say church may help her also. The girl seems like she wants to already run her own life. Take her to the doctor and have the doctor explain how she is abusing her own body with the drugs and cigaretts. It seems you care about her deeply so please don't give up on her. I say a prayer for both you and her becasuse some young people are mis guided because adults in thier life have given up on them and turned them loose. Just please don't give up on her- keep at her and keep on top of her. Not saying she has to be a completly different person, but she should atleast come to the point where she respects those helping her in this world. I would let her know just how easy it would be for you to just send her off into the cruel world and everything she has now would look like a luxury- just simple things like having her own bed, being able to eat when she wants- being able to live in a world where people love her even at points where it seems like she is not even loving herself. She should atleast respect you. I really don't like to see or hear about situations where young women are forced (not by choice but as a matter of survival) to use thier body to get by and definatly not saying that is your grand daughter - but just to the point that that is someone's reality and you don't want it to be her's- just keep on top of her- PLEASE- good luck
Reply:in this lies your answer. you never hit any of your children therefore your daughter did not know how to properly discipline her children which made a monster of a sixteen year old who is used to getting her way. When she gets out of line smack her and lock her in her room or spare room(whichever it is) and tell her she can come out when she is ready to act like a respectable 16 year old young lady.
Reply:Do the jail routine. Lock her in her room all day except meals. Take all furniture out of her room except the bed and essentials. Make sure you inspect everything. Don't let her have her weed. Only take off some of the restraints if she can prove herself.

Make her run away.

Put her out on the street.

Or, if you're feeling particularly angry, call the police and say that you think she has some of those "illegal weeds."
Reply:Don't let her have her way!!! You have to be super strict with her and don't worry about her hating you after because it's for her well being in the end. If you have to, go through her things and look for the drugs and weed and throw it all out.

You don't want to be physical because you never have been with your own kids, but have your own kids ever been this disrespectful towards you? I think she needs some major discipline, and yes, that means getting physical. You can't be a push over because then she'll know she can have her way with you. Don't let her! You have to stop this behavior now or it'll only get worse and she gets older.

I have to agree with some of the things shalirha had to say. She doesn't need a whole bunch of hate, she needs some love too and some attention paid to her. I have a fourteen yr. old cousin who is going down that same path and it's mostly because she has been spoiled by my grandma when she was little and now that my aunt "takes care of her" she's starting to get the same way. We suspect her of taking drugs, she's rude to mostly everyone and is having sex. Sadly, my aunt doesn't know how to be a mother and let's my cousin do what she wants and never pays any real attention to her. She's badly in need of some "tough love" as said by shalirha and some good discipline.
Reply:act the same way towards her..
Reply:Day by day. Kids, especially teenagers, are hardheaded. It takes a while for things to sink in. Stand your ground, you have rules in your house and are providing her with a place to stay. You do not owe her anything, you are doing her a favor so she does not have to sleep in the street. Giving in to her will only reinforce the idea that she can do what ever the hell she wants. If she is stealing from you, threatening or even actually, calling the police might have to be in order. Same for the drugs, and read some of my other answers I all but condone drug use. If you do not want them in your house, do not allow it. Why should you put yourself at legal ntm health risk? It does not make you a bad person in the least, just because you love her does not mean you have to let her take you down with her. Knowing you are not going to go for her shenanigans will eventually sink in, will not be over night. It is your house you are the boss there can not be any compromise on that.
Reply:Call a counselor to straighten' her out or send her off to a boot camp.
Reply:Sound like she needs a wake up call. send her bootie to a boot camp. It sound like she needs help. Why do you have her? send her back.

I read some of the other stupid responses and I can believe anyone would call you a bad grandmother! Do what you have to do.
Reply:You know why don't you just sit with her one night put on a movie and light up a joint with her and tell her how you feel. She just seem's a little rebellious. You know smoking weed is not that bad and you seem old and smoking it can probably help you. So just smoke with her and show her your not dumb and she will listen to you.
Reply:Personally, I wouldn't allow her in my house until she cleaned up her act. Make standards for her and stick to them, such as but not limited to:

No cursing in your presence

No smoking inside the house

No drugs in or around the house

Most of this comes with respect. Calmly explain this to her and if she doesn't agree...don't agree to keep a rough over her head.

My father has set these rules with many truly works.
Reply:well u need to talk to her and really get to know her well.because for teens at certain ages they act kinda wierd and stuff n get to know her problems too.gud luck
Reply:I think this spoiled brat needs a wake up call! I would call the cops on her and put her in jail. Let her see the side she doesn't want to see. She will be very grateful of you when she has to sleep in a tiny cell with a cement floor, eat nasty food and have no drugs or cigs. I was just like that when I was a teenager. I shop lifted, did drugs, smoked and disrespected my family as well. My parents took me to a treatment center and were going to leave me there for a few months! I cried and begged them to bring me home. They did. I did a complete turn around. Now I have been sober for more than 5 years and graduated high school and have a family of my own. I wish you all the luck in the world. You are an awesome person to take her, but she needs to respect you and if she can't kick her out. I think that it takes growing up. If she survives to be an adult she will thank you and probablly change in a few years, but for now tough love!
Reply:Let her parents take care of it, They need to know how to parent her.
Reply:wow. well.

first i would forbid her from smoking at all.

the effects from that would just cause more trouble.

set rules.

does she drive?

does she have a car?

if shes using her car. dont let her if she breaks rules.

set rules like no cursing and stuff.

she cant be that hard to handle.

well i cant talk because i dont know.

hope it helps.
Reply:I tried that when I was a teen. My parents called the cops on me and had me spend a few nights in juvi to teach me a lesson. It worked!!!
Reply:you're letting a SIXTEEN year old smoke? BAD! how did she even get it? How did she get weed also?? Well, just call the police and tell them what she's been doing. She'll for sure go to jail and you nor her mom won't have to deal with her. Like they say, it's the parents fault. Sorry that this happened to you. How old are you anyway?
Reply:let her do what she wants, let her parents take care of her.
Reply:That's what happens when crazy people reproduce! Blame yourself and find solace in eating more peanut butter, better yet go on Jerry Springer so he can call the pitty party patrol!


I really feel sorry for your grand daughter!
Reply:you are an awful grandmother to bash her like that!! She's a child and needs firm loving, as awful as she may be! I'm insulted and Ashamed someone like a grandmother would say that.....

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